A MOM’S LETTER IN REDNECK STYLE


Dear Son,

I am writing this slow because I know you cannot read fast. We do not live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

Would not be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they would not have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and have not seen them since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we did not make the final payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I have not found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so I do not know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They could not get the tailgate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you do not get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love Mom

P.S.
I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.